Everything you want is in the other side of fear

So so much has gone on since I wrote the last blog -- a whole summer has passed and to be honest there is so much that I could write about, but I've chosen the SKYDIVE as my topic....


See, I'm that kind of girl that just does stuff, you know, random stuff that everyone just goes 'uh why is she doing that?' 


I'm the kind of girl that gets really scared about stuff and then I just kinda do it to see what happens next. This is why Nath makes most of the important decisions in our lives. True story! 


I've always wanted to do it, to jump out of a plane, but to be honest heights scare me -- really scare me. A sky dive is like the ultimate test for someone who is scared of heights, right? 


So there's me over here for years like I wanna do it, I wanna do it, but I never actually do it as I'm not really a good organiser. Even when I had my friend Amy egging me on and saying she would do it with me.


Then I saw a charity that was close to my and Amy's hearts, all I had to do was sign up, try and raise some money, and, voila, I could jump out of a plane. I signed up and I was all like 'la la la I'm jumping out of a plane la la la!' The months got closer and closer and it started to dawn on me -- I'm actually going to jump out of a plane, it's actually going to happen and I have had so many donations and words of encouragement that to drop out now would be selfish! 


I was scared, really scared. 


It gets to the day of the jump and I'm crapping myself (sorry I can not think of any other word to describe how scared I was) I had family and friends, and more importantly my children there waiting to watch me do it. I had those butterflies in my tummy and sweaty palms. And everyone asking if I was excited, I really wanted to say yeah whilst jumping up and down.


We got kitted up after watching a 5 min DVD — yes, that was my training, a DVD and someone watching me lift my legs up to see if I could actually do it -- if I wasn't scared before I was even more after this!


We go up in the most rickety plane ever, about 12 of us all squashed in like sardines, and we get to about 12,000 ft in the air and the shutter is pulled open. At that moment people just start jumping out like lemmings! I was starting to panic and my heart starts beating outside my chest. I would've cried had there been time to.


We fall, we literally free fall for about 45 seconds -- the first 2 of those was the most terrifying of my life, after that it was the most immense feeling. The parachute went up and WOW just WOW. My senses kinda didn't know what to do. My eyes were seeing the whole of the south coast from way up high and it looked stunning; my ears, well, they couldn't hear anything, when I say they couldn't hear anything I mean just that. I have never experienced anything like it, there were no birds, the plane was long gone and I could hear very slightly the wind on the parachute when it turned. I want to be able to make a name for that silence and stillness, I want to be able to bottle it. 


It was then that I realised that I had just jumped over to the other side of fear. I had been so scared and worried, that I had missed some of the exciting things that were going on during the build up, simply because I was concentrating on the 'what ifs.'


Everything I was wanting was on the other side of fear, that feeling of freedom, exhilaration, achievement was all on the other side of me jumping out of the plane. 


'Everything you want is on the other side of fear' 

'God placed the best things in life on the other side of fear'

Will Smith's quote, and to be honest who can argue with that man! 


Now to think what is it I am seeking/wanting What am I afraid of, and what could be on the other side of that fear.... Guess there is only one way of finding out. Taking the plunge, you just don't have to do it so literally as me.


P.s it was a tandem so I had someone jump with me, take controls and helped me land safely, a lot like the big man upstairs. 

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